While Having S3x
Pick a stress-free location. If you’re constantly worried about getting caught, you might not have much fun. Make it easier on yourself and your partner by choosing a time and place where you can be relatively sure you won’t be disturbed.
- Look for privacy, a comfortable surface to lie down on, and a time when you aren’t worried about being on a schedule.
Set a relaxing mood. Loosen up by making the atmosphere stress-free. Get rid of any distracting clutter, shut off your phone, and remove anything else that might make you feel nervous or keep you from focusing on your partner.
- Try some of the tricks that medical offices, dental offices or beauty salons use. Dim lighting, soft music, and warm room temperature are all meant to make you feel safe and comfortable.
- Consider taking some time to groom yourself beforehand so that you feel relaxed in your own skin. Take a quick shower, use scented lotion, style your hair, or do whatever else makes you feel pretty and confident.
Take your time. Try to think of sex as a marathon, not a sprint, and focus on enjoying your partner without rushing. Instead of worrying about getting right to it, spend time figuring out what you and your partner both enjoy. Start with kissing, move to making out, and stick to whatever pace feels most comfortable for both of you.
- Here’s an extra bonus to doing plenty of foreplay: as you become more aroused, your natural lubrication will increase — making it easier for your partner to enter you painlessly later on.
Communicate with your partner. Try not to be afraid to ask for what you need in the moment — he or she should be more than happy to help you. Slowing down, moving gently, or using more lubrication are all things you could suggest to ease the pain of your first time.
Do some aftercare (optional). If you’re really struggling with the pain or experiencing bleeding, try to deal with it before it becomes too aggravating. Take an over-the-counter pain reliever (do not take aspirin if you’re under age 19), clean up any blood, and wear a light pad for a few hours.