MOST NEW Age Lovers do not mind or aren’t even aware of the resulting effect of their approach vibes.
When a girl expresses her inner beauty; … “Honey, I love u so much”, and you respond right with her expectation… “I love you too babe… “, you’re actually being flat and only preparing her for emotional strikes and heartbreak extensions.
Organised partners, have a skillful heart-language that welcomes and guarantees peace, happiness and promises a long lasting journey they’ve both invested in.
In my long term interaction with new age lovers, I have seen many young ladies who say… “I’m in love with him but i don’t know if he’s serious.” Now you may ask yourself what binds such kind of partners together, and what their future love may look like!
Based on my understanding of relationships& human connection, basically emotional intimacy, i prefer using proper language triggers that contact our inner beauty and pick us from stuck places. Even in the religious world, love language is reckoned; For example in Christian Holy book; the Bible says in Ephesians 4:29 — “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers”.
So, here’s the example of a mindful and loving response that guarantees safety of love and lasting promises.
“Honey,… i love you so much” instead of quickly replying “i love you too”, pay attention to your partner, look in the face, let him/her witness humanity in each other’s eyes. Pause your breathe,and say something like;…”am privileged to hear you say that…your words encourage me to see images of myself with you in future…, i really feel something stronger for you deep down my heart…am happy you’re the one in my life… ”
I know for many, this version sounds boring and time wasting!!
But for the better functionality of human resonance, words and entire deployment of our desires and longings should be communicated with carefulness in order to cultivate a gentle landing for those who long to be with us at a deeper level.
Many lovers spend days, nights and months planning fancy weddings. They exaggerate, forge a burning desire for parenting, and exert pressure on their partners to give them babies. They manipulate language and hide behaviors because they want quick acceptance but forget to program their senses toward something that would help them move mindfully together into the long-term ministry; ‘ the marriage’.
For lovers still promising wedding as they enjoy partner’s body without an authentic heart & proper intimacy wisdom that checks the present & guarantees future, breakdown of that relationship is just a matter of time. Desist from the term “i love you too” b’se its not a romantic phrase for intimate and husband or wife material partners!
About the writer
Born and raised in Uganda, Mwinebantuki Ambrose is Media& Dating Coach, with a decade-term research and interest in the impact of media, gender and culture on intimacy and relationship development. His emphasis is dedicated to “emotional focusing, social identity and spiritual intimacy. He’s the founder and facilitator at “The NewAge Dating Inc”.