TODAY, I WANT to show you something new about your love life.
I know you will like it…you’re not just reading my story! You’re discovering parts of you in the next few minutes…
So, pay close attention right now!
Did you know that both Anger & Happiness are moral choices that emanate from same beautiful place within you? Through Anger, you can maneuver a sort of relationship, and on the other hand, with happiness, a certain form of loving-kindness strongly manifests.
Most partners cram harsh intimacy practices, simply becausee he/she feels there’s no breed of friendship or inter-connection that binds them for common interest.
This lack of emotional warmth has broken many hearts, and created intense panic in new age relationship, forcing many lovers to believe that genuine/healthy partners do not exist.
In a countdown of decades, have witnessed young-adult youths join marriages very alert to jump out in case things don’t work. They say versions of the following: “hhh!…Men of these days…I don’t know if he’s really serious…all they are interested in, is to use and dump”. In the same vain, men aren’t quiet about their analysis; ..”What else haven’t i provided??…i don’t know what women want!!!
I compare relationship scenarios to beauty pageants. Surely for most of us, if u went to watch a beauty competition, u will realize from a moral observation that all girls on the platform, none was ugly. But with a help of special considerations/qualifications/Performances and deeper values, judges have a mode of selecting the “best”. And when i asked one judge why Nayo, a southAfrican model looked most beautiful but never won, he responded;.. “two amazing elements: Self Presentationand sequential performances” are major qualities of beauty.
Now, how about if we imagined these classical values in the arena of giving love and wanting it back??
It sounds to me like there’s no human environment that will allow us peace, love and harmony, UNLESS we stand by HAPPINESS as our choice when seeking to be loved.
I’ve been irked to train my girlfriend about new terms that actually, bring more hope, more love, more interest, and moreso, expressing the heart language.
Instead of common teen-language…”Babe, i love u so much”, i rather say, “Babe, it really feels good to be with you in a moment, & my happiness actually doubles in your presence…am glad that you’re the one by my side”
Choosing happiness means remodeling yourself into a MANUAL RESPONDER—doing away with automatic or fast foward answers when encountered by your partner.
The way you ask or respond to your partner each time, anywhere determines immunity &span of your loving relationship.
As loving couple you should be able to speak in a manner your “touch mechanism” is designed. If you gave your partner a hand and he/she neglects it with a smile, a narrow minded lover would get ashamed and demonstrate with a freezing anger but a healthy and happy partner would follow the smile for a tight hug, and thereafter ask why she was reluctant to pick his arm.
Tolerating ANGER and harnessing the Scalding PAINS inflicted to you by OTHERS is a skillful& mindful way of irrigating a goal based love to another level.
About the writer
Born and raised in Uganda, Mwinebantuki Ambrose is a Media & Dating Coach, with a decade-term research and interest in the impact of media, gender and culture on intimacy and relationship development. His emphasis is dedicated to “emotional focusing, social identity and spiritual intimacy. He’s the founder and facilitator at “The NewAge Dating Inc”.
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