(As posted by Pherrie Kim (now dead) on her battle with brain cancer on her Facebook page in May 23 2023)
This May 2023 has been a month of coincidences! Not only is May the GoGray month for Brain [tumor/Cancer] Awareness; it’s also the same month that marks my 1 year Anniversary since my Brain tumor removal surgery.
Exactly this time last year May 2022; I was hospitalized & diagnosed with a 6.8cm tumor in my brain; large enough to squeeze & shut off the brain “switch” that communicates to the rest of my body to function.
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As Allah would have it; I appeared normal on the outside & even if i really couldn’t function, everyone thought I just didn’t want to talk because I was dealing with the grief of losing Haji. So much so that the 1st reputable hospital where my siblings took me actually discharged me and told them she won’t communicate, she’s just depressed you should arrange for Butabika.
When they called my parents to tell them this news, “mother knows best” came into play when she said but have you checked to see if she can move… that’s when they realised my leg was just dropping, couldn’t hold a pen, hand was dropping and realised this wasn’t depression.
The brain CT scan proved further that Butabika would not be the answer to my condition so I was immediately referred to a top Neuro surgeon @ Nakasero Hospital who after conducting a Brain MRI; finally revealed the 6.8cm tumor right in the middle of my brain- I’m told about the panic it created, for I was only present physically but blank in understanding coz everything else within me had shut off.
Due to my “Flight-mode” condition[very present but non functional] they were unable to get me onto a plane.
So my brain tumor removal surgery was successfully conducted right here in Uganda @Nakasero Hospital by an excellent Neurosurgeon Dr Justin Onen👌who stated that severe anxiety and distress accelerates the growth of brain tumors. So I guess the 1st Hospital didn’t get it all wrong in suggesting I was depressed. I had suffered severe anxiety for almost a year & a half- knowing that my loved one was so unwell but I had to keep the pain in, hide the anxiety and be strong for him coz he didn’t want anyone to know 💔
Within the very week of the surgery I was discharged because once Dr. Onen & his team removed the tumor; everything immediately began to function & returned to normal! The power, grace & mercy of Allah! All Allah has to say is BE and it is!
Although to this day I have no memory or idea of anything that happened during my hospitalization. [it’s clear that its how Allah meant for it to be]. I’m simply told stories and others keep asking if I didn’t see them when they came to visit because I was looking right at them! When they say; “but you were looking at us!” I completely have no idea what they are talking about!
All this happened in May last year. The Brain[ tumor/ Cancer] awareness month. Fast foward to May 2023 this year; last week on the very same day that the 1st 2022 Brain MRI was conducted last year …another 2023 Brain MRI was conducted and another coincidence/incident took place ; but I will not be able to share that with you today; if Allah wills…indeed I will be back here to share it.
As believers we know that our Creator Allah never makes mistakes, nor are there any coincidences in His plans/decisions, we also know that not only is our Creator the best of Planners, Allah also sees all that we cannot see & knows all that we do not know!
Umar; A decade long friend- turned family; has always reminded me of Allah’s words in the Wise Qur’an, 2nd Surah Al Baqarah: ayat 216:
”Battle has been enjoined upon you while it is hateful to you. But perhaps you hate a thing & it is good for you; & perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allāh knows, while you know not!” Subhan Allah not only is this illness referred to as a battle; those diagnosed with it are referred to as warriors. Coincidence🤔? I think not!
“For Allah knows and ye know not… “
I am truly humbled and grateful for the love & support in whichever way you have done so and continue to do so. I will always ask Allah to reward and grant you all ease & guidance throughout all the tests of this dunia🤲🏻Most of all may Allah keep us all steadfast on the righteous path and grant us unshakable Tawakkul through all our dunia tests. May Allah make us all amongst those He is most pleased with and grant us [as Nouman Ali Khan Nouman Ali Khan] calls it; occupancy in the ultimate best ETERNAL prime Real Estate, Gardens beneath which rivers flow 🤲🏻Allahuma Aameen🤲🏻
To everyone whom I am unable to speak to, please understand that sometimes I just cannot speak, other times I cannot even get out of bed, and other times I can come here and type all this still whilst in bed.
Allah has granted me ok days and also days that are a test of my faith to His word. Truly I am so grateful 🤲🏻Alhamdulillah for EVERYthing 🤲🏻 I love you all. I love you Allah 🤍